A Season of Embracing and Letting Go

Being a mom of four boys was not an easy task though their age gaps became helpful.

Our eldest Ivan is now 21 followed by our 2nd son Kyle who is 12 (9 years gap) then our 2 boys Sean and Simone who are 6 and 5 (like twins). Each day we are dealing with different generations of boys which requires different approach.

Few years back, we felt that we had a handful. But now it hit us…they are really growing fast. Sometimes me and my husband would think that we could have had more hahaha :). What we realized with these past few months is CHANGE IS INEVITABLE. As our kids grow, they change. Change in preference, views, character and others.

My eldest Ivan who wants to be called as Elijah now ( this is his second name) is a full grown man. He was asking us for the past 2 years if he can live in a dorm during school days because transportation was really hard for him. This year, we are embracing that change. We agreed that he can live in a dorm weekdays and go home every weekend. It was a tough decision but he started to have evening classes until 9 pm which may lead to a difficult commute. He also wanted to learn more about lifeskills like cooking, cleaning, budgeting his own money which we also think will be helpful for him.

God reminded me that my son is already at the right age of living independently while studying. I was 19 when I lived in a boarding house back then, younger than my son.

And so we agreed with his request. I also had no choice left, I needed to submit to my husband’s decision too.

We felt the changes with the rhythm of our home when his classes started. Oh my and I had a lot of instructions, felt like treating him like a child.

God is teaching me that my children are not my own and as they grow to maturity they will really have independent lives and all they will carry are the values, teachings, memories and love we gave them while they were with us.

Embracing this new rhythmic melody required a lot of changes with our schedule. Protecting our schedule with other commitments and extra activities so we can have our family days during weekends, adjusting our date night from a weekday to Saturday. Saying no to some invites on a weekend to prioritise our family time.

It was not easy but as months past we experience the blessing of this new change. We learned to value time too.

We felt closer to our son. His Dad helped him out in setting up his own place and buying his needs while I helped him out with his financial decisions. But the best lesson that this move gave our son is, he realized that he needed us. When he had problems he would message us and go home to seek help. We praise God for this blessing of finding refuge in our home. Yes, he saw our home as his dwelling place were he finds love, safety and protection.

God would really make something good out of each situation. Each night I would tell God…” Lord, I trust you on this. I know you will protect my son in any and every situation and you allowed this because you know better than I do.” And I am grateful I surrendered and trusted God. I gave all my worries and apprehensions on Him, because I know I do not have control in my son’s life, but He does.

In the recent family thanksgiving we had we asked each of our child..." What are you thankful for from each member of our family?" He answered “ I am thankful for Daddy because he helped me set up, buy stuff and fix my place” “ I am thankful for Mommy for being my financial advisor” We felt joyful that we heard these from our son who seldom speak and say emotional things.

My husband is planning to do passing of rites to each of them as they enter different phases of manhood. I am also grateful that their Dad is intentional in discipling them and would spend time to do so.

Another new season we are having is with our second son Kyle who is hitting his puberty this year, he will be officially a teen soon when he turns 13. There were a lot of physical and character changes in him. He grew taller and his voice is deeper.

Kyle is the opposite of his Kuya. He is outgoing and easily gets bored when doing something that requires a long time. I still see him as a child but when I see his big feet, God reminds me that he is growing up, fast, really fast. I remembered there was this one time when we were in a public place and I told him, “ No, we cannot buy that baby.” He told me…” Mommy don’t call me a baby, I am not a baby anymore. Hahaha. Yes he is not and my heart needs to be reminded of that.

I need to let go of his childhood and embrace his season of becoming a new teen :)

He is more conscious with his clothes, face and appearance. I have to let go of him leaving the palm of my hand half open. God is always reminding me that my grip should not be as tight as before or I might choke and exasperate him.

In the recent homeschooling discussion that we had… God was telling me to say something to him and I did. I told him “ I believe God has big and greater plans for you, son! “ Oh and I suddenly saw tears coming out of his eyes. Oftentimes, our kids need to hear encouraging and powerful positive words from us and I am grateful that God gave me the wisdom to say it. It was a special moment for me and my son and I called his little brothers so we can group hug. He felt encouraged and assured.

I am still an imperfect mom and sometimes I still allow my temper to conquer me VS the love that I have for my children. In times like this, I will ask God to allow me to see my children the way He sees them and not to let my kids see an angry face.

This is a season in our family when we needed to let go and embrace the new changes that God wants us to do. Sometimes when He calls us to do something I always have apprehensions because I worry, not seeing how Big God is. It may require a leap of faith but God taught me that His promises are always true and evident.

We always pass and experience different seasons in life but in each season there is always One Great God who will see us through.

Just like what God told me to tell Kyle. I believe that God has big and greater plans for our family and for your family too. We just need to continue to seek His heart.

“ Now may the God of hope fill you with all the joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” Romans 15:13

All Glory to God!

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